(Untitled Gamescript) Celestial Side

[Noah Hyuga]

(Untitled Game Script)
Celestial Story

I have started to try and complete a gamescript i've been working on in a while and i've decided to get everyones opinion on it! This is only one side however! The good side!

Chapter 1: Prayers Unanswered

~Scene opens to a large chapel hall filled with stained glass and painted walls where a girl kneels in front of a large alter with her hands clasped together muttering silently with her eyes closed~
~The girl has very light brown hair wrapped in a ponytail. The large alter reflected out of her green eyes and as she stood up you could tell she wasn’t very tall~
~A man in a long white robe bearing a cross on his chest enters. As he sees the girl he shakes his head and sighs~

Elder – Why are you still here? You’ve been here since dawn.

Melody – I know, but I can’t help it. My day wouldn’t feel complete if I didn’t pray.

Elder – For an hour? There is a limit to how much you can do.

Melody – I guess so…but I’m nervous.

Elder – Ah! Yes, you are to meet you’re new travel companion today.

Melody – Yes! I am worried because it is a boy who is to join me.

Elder – Indeed? What is his name?

Melody – His name is Jack.

Elder – I have heard of him. He is said to be a grand idealist as well as a well-trained rogue.

Melody – That is what worries me. I have never met a rogue, but I have heard that they are trained to sneak and to deceive.

Elder – He is a good boy. I raised him myself in this very monastery.

Melody – If that is so then I will not fret.

Elder – It is so. Now move along and get ready for your meeting. He is easily insulted by tardiness.

Melody – Thank you father.

~Melody exits the chapel and runs towards her own room and enters~

Melody - *to self* I wonder whether Jack has heard of me before.

~Melody then exits her room after gathering up her cloak and pack and lowers her hood. She then walks over to the large fountain in the center of the garden where she is to meet Jack. Slowly she studies the angel sculptures atop the fountain and all is quiet while she waits~
~Suddenly she hears the crunch of ice behind the fountain. As she peeks around the statue she was attack from the side and pinned to the icy snow writhing to break free~

[Chronos]

Ah....that's just great. Another clifhanger to keep the people begging for more. A true anime writer tactic. lol. So far..........it's cool. I want to read more, so that's good, but i see that most of your stories involve a shy girl (Except Saline.....) and a mystrious boy. Try some new themes once and a while. I might just start a new story just so I can get away from Itasuske.

[Noah Hyuga]

For the record. Kristal isn't shy at all and every character in these gamescripts is pretty mysterious.

[xravenx]

lol well it seems pretty good so far! you seem like a good writer also!

[Chronos]

i can kinda predict the storyline, maybe it's because this seems familiar in some way, but I can't put my finger on it. Oh well, whatever. Alexz, I'm not trying to bring you down, and I don't mean to insult you with my words, you know that. I just offer suggestions and try to give the best advice i can. Anyway, ok, I take it back that all your stories start with a shy girl. My bad.

[Noah Hyuga]

It's okay. But usually, every authors writing style is obvious no matter what book you read of theres and the story line is pretty basic. Take Stephen King. Heres his books.

-Introduce main character
-Main character background
-Get to know the character
-Something freaky starts happening
-Character goes OMG!
-Character does something to stop the freakiness
-Everything is cool and peaceful in the end.
-((This is in some)) The freaky thing leaks a little somewhere, unknown to the character

[Noah Hyuga]

Boy – Somehow I thought that you would be a little quicker.

Melody – Are you questioning my abilities?\

Boy – Maybe.

Melody – Who are you?

Boy – Names Jack, and you would be Melody I presume? *gets off her and offers her a hand to help her up*

Melody - *Gets up without taking Jacks hand* You want to see what I can do? Then let’s go! *takes stance*

Jack – Sure. Why not? I need a warm up.

Training Battle Starts
~Jack explains battle configuration while melody remarks with rude comments~

Boss Battle
~Cannot win~

Jack

HP – 400
Weakness – N/A
Strength – Unknown

*Cinematic*

~Melody is lying in the snow, holding herself up by her elbows as Jack jumps at her and stops his staff just before hitting her~

Jack – Not bad, but you lack a sense of concentration. *Sticks staff in holster on his back and offers Melody a hand up*

Melody - *Taking his hand and getting up* Wow. You’re good.

Jack – I’m not that good. I’m just better trained.

Melody – We should go receive our mission from the elder.


Jack - *laughs meekly* Yeah. I suppose you’re right.

*Cinematic End*

~You gain control of Melody and are free to walk around the Monestary area. To continue the story, enter the chapel. If you can’t find it, it’s the largest building to the north. ((Author note: Duh!))

~As Jack and Melody enter the chapel they notice the Elder is at the foot of the shrine not moving and the chapel is in shambles~

Melody - *runs over to the elder and checks his pulse while Jack looks suspiciously around* He’s Dead!

Jack – Sh! Someones here!

~An eerie silence follows with only the creaking of wood and a crash as a wall collapses and a pillar falls then a large glowing black dragon with emerald glowing green eyes attacks and goes straight for Melody~

Jack – Melody! *rushes in front of her*

Boss Battle
~Cannot win ~

Black Dragon

HP - ?
Weakness – N/A
Strength – N/A

~You will automatically be ambushed in this battle and Jack will be knocked out leaving Melody to fight alone. There is no possible way to win this battle so don’t waste any items~

*Cinematic*

~Melody is thrown against a wall and it cracks as her hair is let down. The dragon then flies out, creating a large hole in the ceiling of the chapel. The dragon then turns around and breathes flames on the monestary. The camera zooms out as the monestary burns and the dragon flies away. Five white horses enter the monestary and the screen goes black~

[xravenx]

i know this has nothing to do with this really but it always reminds me of fable for some odd reason....hm...
also every author has a writing style and that makes them...unique? kinda?

[Noah Hyuga]

Fable didn't really have the same type of storyline, but it's nice to have my script compared to a game as well done as that one.

[Chronos]

wow, It kinda's like .hack//G.U........ was that any part of your inspiration? Any way, Nice job so far, and it's good that you put a tutorial in the game as well. But I digress. The story is pretty good, and could be tweaked just a small bit.

[Noah Hyuga]

Actually I wrote this part WAY before I even played G.U. lol, but that's awesome!!

[Chronos]

well, that's what it reminded me of. You know, "tri-edge" was the dragon, and there was a boy and girl character inside a monestery-type place. All that good stuff. ;D

[Noah Hyuga]

i know what you're talking about, you don't have to repeat it.

[Chronos]

but some people don't! ;D I'm just kidding, don't worry.

[Noah Hyuga]

lol.